8 Things Educators Can Do to Make Intoverts More Comfortable

Painting by Monica Ikegwu

1. Stop locking eyes with us. We don't like eye contact but we understand the extrovert social norms so we return it. But it's ALOT, especially when coming from a person in a position of power. Allow folks to look where they want when they're speaking, listening, or otherwise engaging. If a student looks away when you looked at them it doesn't mean you should call on them because their lack of eye contact signaled to you that they were unprepared or not paying attention. All that does is create anxiety of public speaking and make them feel like you don't like them just because they had a moment where they were true to their instincts instead of society's expectations of "a good student."

2. Change your perception of participation if you are going to include it in your grading. Remember that classrooms are designed for extroverts so introverts understand to do well, we must raise our hands and participate and be vulnerable. We do it because participation points often impact our grade. Come up with other ways to get those points that aren't just raising our hand and speaking in front of everyone. Written assignments, apps that let you "vote in" your answer, etc.

3. Stop calling students out for being late. No one walks into class late and feels amazing. Especially when the excuse is just, "I overslept." Your callout is causing further humiliation and is not conducive to making someone feel welcomed or even focused. The entire trip to class was stressful because they were running late, then to be embarrassed in front of everyone- I guarantee you,  the reminder of class they are thinking about what a huge mistake they made rather than class material.
 
4. Stop forcing group work or other outside- of-class-activities which require social interaction. Once a week may be fine but every class is a bit much. Understand, we introverts, always feel like we are performing on stage. When we have to be out in public we are constantly ensuring that we say, and do, the right thing to be seen as team players. When you force us to do that even more than required it becomes exhausting. Remember this is on top of our regular assignments and other work responsibilities. It's tiring, so to say, "I strongly recommend you go to this social thing, when introverts are already putting in the hours weekly is cutting into our alone time. Alone time is where we recharge. If you are going to take some away, you need to give it back. For instance say, if you go to the social event then skip the class next week where we discuss said social event. You shouldn't demand we attend class AND the interaction outside of class.

5. Stop making networking a life skill that you then assign to the curriculem or class activiites. We get it, to get opportunities we need to show up and shake hands and lock eyes but that doesn't mean that is the only way. Often this is the only way discussed in professional development or leadership courses. What about the art of the written word or sending an email? What about smaller social hangouts? Not all networking has to occur at conferences with ten thousand plus people.

6. Take some points away from attendance. Being "on" everyday, all week, is overwhelming. Regardless, many introverts, keep plugging away even when we have reached our limit because we know attendance points are real and effect our final grade. Placing mental health days or self care days into your syllabus means that if we need a break we can get it without penalty or even having to explain why. This culture of telling one's teachers everything, was created for a compassionate reason but those of us who are more private just feel uncomfortable. So giving students a no-questions-asked "out," is helpful. I know when I teach, I don't like to put students in a position where they have to tell me their very private story and then I'm in the position of deciding whether it is an unexcused absence. What are my criteria, was it debasing enough? Was the student brave enough to tell me their real life trauma?

7. First day introductions don't have to be painful and anxiety filled. Be concise. Rather than tell students, "let's go around the room and say something about yourselves," tell us what you want us to say. Two truths and a lie? What our passion is? Just our name and zodiac sign? Whatever the parameters are, make sure they are the same for everyone. It can be very nerve wracking for introverts to have to balance small talk so make it as easy as possible to perform in this extroverted activity. Also, you can just have people write it down and turn it in to you so you have an idea of student's needs without having them divulge it to everyone in class. Students will learn one another's names without first day intros.

8. Remember, just because introverts are performing the act of "good student" it still exhausts us even though we have been doing it since we started school. Especially when you are female identifying or cultured female or a person of color. We know that black people are often deemed snobby or rude if we aren't constantly smiling and talking to our colleagues. There is the added pressure of playing the extrovert game when your identifies are already marginalized. It's not that I hate speaking to people or going out I just know what I need to feel rested and focused but sometimes I deny myself those things because I'm concerned about how that may "hurt my chances" of advancement, recommendations, or just being accepted. I know in grad school I was labeld as mysterious by faculty because I never shared my personal life with my professors. I didn't want to be a burden and I still saw them as these far away, holier than though people. Now in law school, I am working on being more transparent with my professors but it is extremely uncomfortable for me. I constantly feel like I am a burden even though I'm sure that is not the case. Coming out of our comfort zone is just that, uncomfortable.

While I hope instructors recognize their bias for extroverted students and adopt some of these practices, I want to say something to my fellow introverts. You are doing great, just as you are. Take time to rest when you need it. It's okay to say no, no one is thinking about it as much as you are.