I Want My Freedom

Image of Cheif Joseph above "No More Rape Culture."

Cheif Joseph pleaded with members of Congress in 1879..."Let me be a free man, free to travel, free to stop, free to work, free to trade where I choose, free to choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to talk, think and act for myself — and I will obey every law or submit to the penalty."

Freedom to travel...I want that now, today in 2018. The privilege to drive cross country. To stop wherever I want to stop, at any time of day. I want to get drunk and beligerant and stumble back to my hotel room. And I want that to be a funny story, not one that ends in shame or violation. I want to be able to lose all control and feel safe. I want to apply for jobs around the world and my first google search not be about hate crimes in the area. I want to stop constantly looking over my shoulder for predators. I want to know that if I take a road trip to New Orleans, I don't have to worry about white terrorists or sex traffickers.

I am an adult perceived as a young woman which means, I need chaperones. I can't just leave my house. I need a plan if someone gets too close. I need to know my exits. I need to watch my drink. I need to make sure I don't step out of line, provoke anyone by turning down a dance or laughing too loud.

The women that go out at night with their sister, should always make it home. Not slain like Nia Wilson. Not overlooked like the unrecorded missing and murdered Indigenous women. Or washed over like transgender women.

Black folks that travel is a hashtag. We have our guy friends who play sober sister. We  have our regular hangouts where the bartender looks out for us. We meet in public well-lit places. We report in with one another. We know staying home won't stop them from busting down the door. We know going to college won't guarantee we aren't wrongfully accused and incarnated. We know moving into a safer neighborhood won't mean a call to the cops from our neighbors isn't a possibility, but we also know that the moment we stop being vigilant, looking over our shoulder, is when everything goes wrong. It only takes an instant.

Fear is sickness. It plays off paranoia and the worst part is, it is necessary to exist as a woman in this world. No matter how out of touch that identity sometimes is, it still earns us less pay. It makes us the punchline, the exception and the victim, all the time. If we are assaulted it is because we were stupid. Irresponsible. Asking for it. If we achieve anything, (and marriage and motherhood are not achievements, they are options) we are ridiculed, compared to men or unnoticed. We are inherently unequal.

When you are a person of color you are less than human historically and implicitly. When you are a woman you are an object. When you are a woman of color, you are a less than human object, a thing. When you are a queer woman of color you are a less than human thing that also is an abomination. What is it like to be hated three times over? Discriminated against three times over? Constantly reminded through legistalation and social situations that you don't matter? It is to live in constant fear that your life will be taken.

We continue to fight.

"Let me be a free man, free to travel, free to stop..."