"I'm sensitive, I feel everything," -Kendrick Lamar: Why BIPOCs Deserve Free Therapy

Trigger Warning Sexual Assault, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence, Generational Trauma

Please if you are not able to process the following subject matter, do not continue.

Therapy should be free for Black people 

This is a sentiment often stated by Black Americans, particularly those who have engaged in talk therapy or other types of psychologic analysis. This idea of historical trauma effecting the mind is accurate and more known. The same could be said of Indigenous communities in this nation. The active practice of genocide of Native Americans, African Americans, Latinx, and AAPI communities is something that is not and cannot be divorced from our present-day selves. Racism and eradication has multiple forms. But one particular aspect of oppression, that is not often characterized as systematic oppression is sexual assault. 

Kendrick Lamar's latest album, Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers discuses childhood sexual abuse and how it directly impacts Black boys. This is a form of violence is not openly discussed. The sexual violations that occur in our communities rarely include boys and cishet men in particular. Especially true is the absent discussion of women abusing boys. The shame of sexual assault is of course acknowledged however the compassion does not extend to bodies of color. There is a circular argument of, the abuse doesn't happen if we don't talk about it and we don't talk about it because it doesn't happen. 

Manifest Destiny Linked to Sexual Violence

Historically, sexual violence was used as a tool for colonization and dehumanization. This is seen in the "manifest destiny" period of the formation the United States and the European practice of chattel slavery. This remnant remained during our past and current system of immigration. Native American tribes did not have the power to prosecute non-Native Americans, even though 86% of sexual assault crimes are committed by non-Natives (70% are white). Latinx, Hispanic and Asian communities also report heightened levels of sexual violence in comparison to other populations. This of course is through the lens of women and girls. But what impacts one population of a community, of course impacts the remaining populations. 

I have written about sexual abuse but I have never applied the lens of men, especially boys, especially boys of color--especially Black boys. 

In Kendrick Lamar's track "Mother I Sober," he talks about how it was expected that he would be violated as a boy because it had happened to his mom and she had heard it happened to others including men and boys in their family. Consequently, he was not believed when he said it hadn’t happened to him. The lack of communicating about the assaults of boys and men does not mean that they are not happening or that they have been happening. 

Throughout the history of colonization and slavery Black and Indigenous men were raped by their white masters. While there was not as much unequivocal evidence as a child born from the rape of a Black women and her slave master, there are personal accounts of enslaved men and boys from the Americas and island nations. Rape is an act made out of evil, it is often associated with the predator’s motive to instill fear but above all, power. 

The same motivation that drove the act of ceasing land, forcing the removal of bodies and land then claiming it as one’s own sounds like the unbound quest for power. Owning a human being and removing their bodily autonomy in every way-- scholars have claimed that rape and slavery itself are one in the same. 

Lack of Consent Means Even More When Considering Lack of Human Rights

As a survivor of sexual violence, there was a dichotomy that existed, which many survivors have faced. There is the, "I can't tell anyone because they wouldn't believe me anyway," versus the, "I won't tell anyone because it happens to everyone." Both of these options are rooted in the violation that began with colonization, the idea that Black, Brown, AAPI and Native bodies needed to be conquered, along with the land, to better ensure utter devastation. 

How does this trauma move through our minds and our bodies at even a cellular level?  It manifests in the way we move in the world. The feeling of constant fear of imminent danger. The requirement of using our outward presentation to ensure that we look like our lives are valued, by at least our families so that the outside world may believe the same. The need to be re-assured about even the smallest of gestures. Code-switching to show white people that we are like them--human. Simultaneously “acting like white people” but also having to show that we aren't too much like them because then we are agreeing that we are in fact less worthy of respect. Understanding, in order to be respected we have to be what they consider “good,” whatever that means. 

This is perhaps something that members of marginalized communities can validate. Whether it be through stereotypical masculinity, or abrupt masking, or playing the role of wife, father, son, mother-- the way we allow ourselves to be perceived comes from the thing we are trying to distant ourselves from. We don't want to be victims of genocide or survivors of hate. We want to be something bigger and better than what our ancestors could fathom, definitely more removed from their suffering. And this pushes us, sometimes, in ways that lead us to ignore what is so intertwined with our very DNA--violence. And that violence left unresolved or unlearned consistently shows itself. 

This is why we need conversation. This is why we need therapy. We are not perpetual victims. We are not those who need protecting. We are those who need what is due to us, healing.