You Can't Hide From Racism, So Better Start Dismantling It

When I was a child my parents gave me The Talk. The one where they described how to behave when I interacted with police so I could hopefully make it home alive. But the thing is, police aren't the only things we as Black, Brown and Indigenous parents fear. There is also the white supremacists who douse us in gasoline at traffic lights. There are the racist teachers who place us in Special Ed before ever meeting us. The guidance counselors who never tell us about scholarships or college opportunities, assuming it doesn't apply to us. There are the racist social workers who take our children away at disproportionate rates. There are the friends and allies who only support us when it is popular or trendy but relish in the first moment they have to defend monuments, over our Black and Brown bodies. There are the doctors who refuse to listen to us, call us drug seekers and fakes rather than patients. There are the mental health professionals who repeatedly misdiagnose Black people with schizophrenia and give us the wrong medication so we cannot work or support ourselves. There are the employers who make Black women come to 3 times the amount of interviews of white candidates before they will offer us the job. There are the hair policies that tell us we cannot wear our natural hair without the threat of being reprimanded or fired. Racism has intentionally infiltrated all aspects of our society and if we continue to treat it like it is an individual issue, or isolated incident, we will never truly abolish it.

My parents, like many Black, Latino, or Indigenous parents and parents of LGBTQIA kids or children living with disabilities, parents who have children who identify as women or girls or parents whose children identify with all of these identities, have to have multiple versions of, The Talk. We are preparing our children to enter a world that not only doesn't accept them but fervently hates them to the point that they will wish them harm. 

"If you stop at a traffic light make sure your windows are up and your doors are locked."

"Make sure you straighten your hair before a job interview"

"Save all the correspondence you have with your fellow employees and your employer"

"Be prepared to respond to microagggressions in a calm voice or better yet don't address them at all because it can have dire consequences."

"Be twice as good"
"Don't wear clothes that are too flashy or call attention to you"

"Don't call the cops unless absolutely necessary and if you do call them, make sure there are plenty of witnesses."

"If you are about to be pulled over, call me or your Dad, so we can hear what's going on."

"If your car ever breaks down on the side of the road, arm yourself, lock your doors and wait for me to arrive."

"Learn CPR because ambulances take much longer to arrive in our neighborhoods"

"Understand that no matter how much money you have in the bank or degrees you hold, you will still be a second class citizen"

"Never give them a reason"

"Learn how to speak so they can't clock you"

"Learn how to walk so they can't clock you"

These are just a few of things that we all hear growing up to stay safe, but the difference between those of us with marginalized identities and those with white privilege is that, the odds of us being harmed is higher. The odds of us being victimized and there being no repercussions for the person who assaulted us, is higher. The odds of us being targeted for our basic identity, is higher.

My parents bought me a car when I was 15. People thought I was spoiled, and maybe I was but it was because my Dad always said, the best weapon you have is your car. If someone is coming after you get in your car, where you are protected. My mother was adamant that both of her daughter's had their own car because it meant freedom and independence. Freedom to leave when we felt unsafe and not have to wait on a bus or someone to pick us up. 

When you live in a city where you are surrounded by white people, you have to always have your guard up because those same people that claim to be your friends, may not truly support you when the n-word gets thrown around, or a when a racial joke is made. And as a black kid, when you hear the coded language that says, "you are less than me because of your identity," it's time to gather your things and leave. A car let me do that. This self-defense weapon is not extended to children who live below the poverty line. How different my life would have been if my parents couldn't afford to get me a car. I'm sure I would have been relegated to the house, where it was safe. Yet we know because of Breonna Tayler and Aatiana Jefferson, that sometimes home is the worst place you can be.

I write this to remind you that regardless of what field you wok in, you should be applying an Anti-Racist lens. There is no profession or occupation that shields us from Racism, so how is it possible that you don't have to engage in Anti-Racist work?