Dear White Parents, You Need to Talk to Your Kids About Not Killing Black People

After my TedX talk, White parents started asking me how to talk to their kids about racism. Usually it annoys me because they never thought about it before, a privilege that is not extended to parents of children of color. It also outrages me that they are not doing the work to dismantle racism. But today, after my social media feeds are once again filled with images of dead or dying black people, I'm feeling like I'm willing to do whatever it takes if it means it could save a person's life so here's my two cents: 

First, show your children the news, particularly the Amy Cooper video. Ask them, when should you call the police. The answer should be, when I am unsafe. Then, unpack what that entails. Does someone have a weapon and are threatening you? Has someone laid hands on you? Has someone threatened you with physical, or sexual violence? If the answer is No, then why are you feeling unsafe? Is it because the person looks different than the people you are used to? If that's the case, then you all, as a family, do not have enough diverse friends. And that means as a family, you all need to really dig into, how even though you dont see yourself as racist, in what way(s) are you maintaining a racist system.

Second, ask what did Amy Cooper do wrong? Based on what we just discussed, should she have called the police? Why shouldn't she have called? Why did she mention race? What are the implications of a white woman calling the cops on a black man? Then discuss the history of white women calling the police on black men in this country. Perhaps share the story of Emmet Till. 

For more work with whiteness reach out to Kendra Toth and listen to her interview on my podcast, So, What Are You??? With Val Day-Sánchez